There are certain stereotypes of military spouses just as there are stereotypes about all women. With the rise in social media over the years, certain traits start to develop in this newer generation of military wives. Here are some kinds of military spouses you may run into… but don’t be her!
The All-About-The-Military Wife
How to Spot: Look for her “I’m a (insert branch) wife shirt”, as well as the magnet on her car. She probably also has the camo bag to match.
Her life revolves around the military. She was most likely a military brat or sister. More likely than not, she has dated more than one service member. She bakes things for all the military functions even the ones she’s not invited to and shows up at the command or hanger unannounced. She goes to every single FRG meeting, and volunteers to do anything and everything.
Annoying Rating: 1
Reasoning: She genuinely loves the military life and can be really helpful to newbies. Most of the time she’s really nice but can be a competitive know-it-all.
The Rank-Wearing Wife
How to Spot: She might have her husband’s rank embroidered on her bag, stuck on car, customized into a vanity plate, or tattooed on her body (no, really, that happens)
This wife is obsessed with her husband’s rank and yours too. She will introduce herself as “Mrs SGT (Last Name)” or “I’m Colonel (so and so’s) wife”. The first thing she’ll ask you is your spouse’s rank, maybe even before she asks you your name. She’s always worried about socializing with those ranks below “hers” (because she thinks that she actually has a rank). And she will always ask for better housing/entitlements/treatment because of spouse’s rank.
Annoying Rating: 4
Reasoning: No life other than her spouse’s. She’s usually passionate about military life but you feel bad for her when you tell her that military life ends one day and you have to be in “the real world”.
The “Must Prove I Had My Own Life Before I Got Married” Wife
How to Spot: She’s usually very educated. Her conversation topic of choice is her life before the military. She herself may have been a service member.
This wife has read about the military wife stereotypes and goes out of her way to prove that she isn’t one. She may have a hard time admitting to the fact that she was forced or chose to give up her career. When you ask her what she does, she gives you her educational background, full resume, and entire reasoning why she gave it up for the military.
Annoying Rating: 1
Reasoning: She seems somewhat resentful for giving up her career. She means well but can often come across as bitter.
The Drama Wife
How to Spot: She is the social butterfly but in a negative way. She has interesting stories until you realize they’re full of drama and she’s only trying to suck you in. She’s also very gossipy.
This is the wife that can tell you everything that is happening or has happened in the command. She knows who’s sleeping with who, who got chaptered out, and if there is even the slightest hint of wrongdoing on base. You almost want to be her friend because you want to be in-the-know, but then you realize she knows too much. She’ll interpret something innocent and make it into drama. She’s the one who calls the MPs or housing security if something is not to her liking. She’ll also threaten to get the media involved if she’s really hung up. Avoid telling her anything going on in your life that you want to keep secret.
Annoying Rating: 3
Reasoning: This wife lives and breathes drama. Being in the loop is one thing, but too much drama causes negativity and makes for a toxic environment.
The Greedy Wife
How to Spot: She always asking for a handout or free stuff yet has the money to buy designers bags and smartphones. She pulls out the pity card and then drives off in her range rover.
You might not know she has kids because her kids are usually the ones playing in the park by themselves while she’s on the Military Yardsale facebook pages trolling for anything free she can get. She’s also the beezy that tries to sell those free items elsewhere for a profit. She throws a bitchfit when the discount isn’t applied to her on Veteran’s Day. When Sears has their Heroes-At-Home program, she hunkers down until she gets a spot. If she doesn’t get one, she takes to every media outlet to complain.
Annoying Rating: 5
Reasoning: She’s the wife that only looks out for number 1. She uses the excuse of her husband service to guilt or shame people into giving her stuff she didn’t earn.
The Hermit Wife
How to Spot: You don’t. You know she exists but you never see her.
She rarely leaves the house. When she does, it’s only to drive and pick up the kids, or to go get food. She is always online though. This is the wife that also talks shit about other military wives or a duty station but makes no attempt to venture out and actually explore and meet new people.
She’ll exchange pleasantries to you at events but will most likely by staring at her smartphone the whole time instead of socializing.
Annoying Rating: 1
Reasoning: She may have a lot going on in her life and you certainly don’t have to befriend everyone in the military. However, she can’t complain how she has no one to help her when she makes no attempt to reach out.
How to Spot: She’s on the phone or on social media griping about anything and everything. At events, she’s the one talking to the host about what they’re doing wrong.
This wife is the one who calls the command because her husband’s late for dinner, or puts in 10 ICE comments because her food arrived late from the Officer’s Club diner. God forbid she or her kid is sick, because then she’ll post to every social media outlet about the ailment before actually calling a doctor. She then blames it on housing. The military never does anything right by her. She is the one that complains about the long wait in line for a FREE Christmas tree or she bitches about how she only received an email for Military Spouse Appreciation Day. If you come in contact with her, she’ll talk your ear off about everything that’s wrong with the military and she can’t wait to be done with it.
Annoying Rating: 4
Reasoning: Nothing’s ever good enough for her. And how inconsiderate of her to be talking crap about the same military that your family is proud to be a part of?
Have you ever encountered THAT military spouse? Were you close to being one yourself?