When you have a baby, you find yourself not only talking baby talk but you’ve also picked up a whole new vocabulary. These words had no meaning or definition to you before the land of parenthood, but now you can compare and contrast with all of the moms out there! With my new son, I honestly feel like I’m speaking another language. I talk about baby products like new cars. “Did you get the new model of the bumbo?” “Why, yes after the recall, we had to upgrade.” Oh gosh. Here are 30 words that you didn’t know existed before babies.
Amber Teething Necklace
Necklace made of baltic amber to help soothe babies of pain relief during teething. Not meant to be chewed on. Meant to be worn and the healing powers are transferred through the skin. Used by hippies and desperate parents looking for solutions to their cranky baby.
Baby Led Weaning
Introducing baby-size versions of adult food and foregoing commercial baby food entirely. Proponents of Baby-led weaning let the baby choose its food and also self-feed i.e. No airplanes, cars, or “chugga-chugga-chugga choo-choos” into baby’s mouth.
Footless socks that cover baby’s knees as to provide a cushion and less irritation when they crawl. No matter what design or pattern they are, they will always look ridiculous
1. Placing baby in a carrier or sling instead of a stroller so they are close to the parent. 2. The Human Kangeroo effect.
1. A pillow designed to help mom nurse their child by provided support for mom’s arms 2. Neck travel pillow for giants
Molded seat to aid your baby in sitting up. Not made for babies with thunder thighs.
A five-letter word for “no-one-knows-what’s-wrong-with-your-baby-it-just-cries”
Yellow stuff that come from your breasts that’s meant to be baby’s first meal. First signs of boob juice
Sharing the same bed with your baby during naps and/or bedtime
DD, DS, FTM, LO, EBF, FF
1. Abbreviations for Dear/Darling Daughter, Dear/Darling Son, First Time Mom, Little One, Exclusively Breastfeed, Formula Feed 2. Abbreviations you come across when googling every little thing about your newborn
Diaper Genie/Diaper Pail
Expensive trash can for diapers. When used for long periods of time, it also ends up becoming a regular trash can
1. When the breasts of a nursing mom become painfully full, swollen, and tender to the touch. 2. The temporary appearance of breast implants
Surgical incision on the perineum and posterior vaginal wall during the “pushing” stage of active labor. If you’re brave, you can google images, but ONLY if you’re brave
Very expensive way to look like a kangaroo (see babywearing)
A form of sleep training your child that encourages independence and self-soothing 2. colloquially known as “Cry It Out”
Homeopathic drops that are intended to aid in the alleviation of gas for babies
1. Activity chair that allows children with good head control the ability to jump, spin, and play with toys 2. temporary babysitter
When a nursing mom’s breastmilk has been sucked or pumped to the extent where milk is dripping freely
Painful infection in the breasts for nursing moms
Baby’s first feces, it’s very first disgustingly dark feces.
1. Plastic device that goes over the nipples of nursing mom to aid in the latch on process or minimize discomfort 2. tiny plastic sombrero
Strange yet effective device for sucking snot out of your baby’s nose
Highly addictive bite-sized snacks for infants
Elevated hammock chair that holds baby on an incline
(ugly) Removable sack that baby sleeps in to keep warm without the need for a blanket
Sophie the Giraffe
(overpriced) French Teething toy
Receiving blankets with velcro attached to secure swaddle, made for tiny Houdinis
The combination of stroller and car seat in order to efficiently travel with both items both apart and together
The art of placing babies on their stomach in an effort to strengthen their neck and arm muscles.
Goo that covers your baby after birth
Be sure to add your suggestions in the comments!