In no particular order, here’s a common topic military couples may fight about.
Communication
When it comes to communication, military couples can find themselves having a harder time than regular couples. During deployments (and sometimes just regular working hours), a lack of communication can often be the cause of a lot of conflicts. It’s probably gotten worse with the development of smartphones. Let’s face it, some people have no idea with their keys are but they know where their phone is. So when people don’t answer texts or calls right away, partners can often find themselves frustrated.
With digital communication these days, the sentiment might get lost in the text if you know what I mean. For example, if my husband was in a hurry, he might just text “k” as a response. “K” is the most annoying text in the world to me. Or when I text “I’m fine. I really do mean, I’m fine, but then my husband might interpret that as me being mad at him.
So not communication, or inconsistent communication, or misinterpreted communication can be the cause of your next big fight.
How to resolve:
- Deployments are off-limits. If one of you is deployed, communication is limited for both parties. The spouse can’t expect a 24 hour turnaround on an email, and the deployed service member can’t expect an immediate answer to a phone call especially if the spouse doesn’t even know it’s coming.
- Constant contact might not work for you guys. It doesn’t work for me and my husband texting each other all day when we’re at work. We like having our own space, and then when it’s time to be together, we have a lot more stuff to talk about.
- Find other means to connect. Love notes are awesome. I made some love notes printables and it’s as easy at print, cut, and stick them places where your spouse will find them. A great pick-me-up for both of you.
- When you do fight about the lack of communication, I think the best way to resolve is to see the situation from your spouse’s point of view. This will help you to understand why your partner did what he or she did or didn’t do.
- Have discussions in person when you are both calm. Text fighting or facebook fighting does no good for anyone
- Avoid “fighting words”. Common terms are “First off,” “You should have”, “Why do you always,”. These phrases put anyone in a defensive mode.
Here are other common conflicts military couples may fight about:
The Military
Money
Kids
Division of Labor
Trust
The Future
