When Husband and I were dating, there were a few times we had to be long distance for an extended time due to deployments, pcs, and TDYs (or TAD for other military branches). Long distance is tough, if not almost impossible, to sustain long term. HOWEVER, every now and then, we encounter couples who have been together for years and somehow managed to live apart for an extended time. They must have figured out something that works for them.
While long distance relationships aren’t for everyone, there are a few things to know before you begin or decide to keep going with one.
1) Some people won’t take you seriously.
There may be more negative comments from your peers than positive ones. Long distance relationships aren’t the norm yet and there are very few success stories. Therefore, some people may be skeptical about your relationship.
2) Your partner will spend time with other people.
If you are the jealous type, be warned that your partner will be around other people, possibly single people and vice versa. There has to be a great deal of trust in a long distance relationship.
3) The physical aspect matters more than you think.
Of course, you can have meaningful contact via skype or text. However, it won’t beat physical touch. Humans thrive on physical contact and so you may start to feel down when all you want is a hug but can’t get it. To compensate for this, you can communication more verbally and really savor the physical aspect once you are together.
4) Your schedules impact your relationships just as much the distance does.
With distance comes time difference. Your relationship may be put off balance if your schedules are completely mismatched. For example, you may be just wrapping up your day and ready to talk while your partner is already in bed. This can put your relationship out of sync.
5) You may get jealous of other couples.
Seeing others happy and together may make you a little bit envious. Even seeing them in television or in movies can get you a little green with envy about your own relationship.
RELATED: 60 Long Distance Relationship Quotes to Remember
6) Happy and sad times happen routinely.
With long distance relationships, you’ll know that every reunion is a happy moment followed by a sad departure. Even during your time together, you may be dwelling on the fact that your partner will leave soon while you should be enjoying the moment. You have to brace yourself for the roller coaster of emotions whenever reunions and separations happen.
7) It gets expensive.
Phone bills, care packages, and travel expenses can quickly add up. Just because you guys aren’t going on “regular” dates doesn’t mean your relationship won’t cost money.
8) There will be a lot of “promises” in your relationship.
You or your partner will make promises about what you will do when you’re in the same town or what you would do if you were together right then. The intentions may truly be sincere, but you really won’t know unless you were physically close to one another. It’ll be easy to picture the illusion of how perfect life would be once you’re together but until that point happens, you’ll have to keep both of your realities in check.
9) You may fight more often than you would think.
You might think because you don’t see each other often, you won’t fight as much as “regular” couples do. However, when your relationship happens mostly over text or email, you won’t be there to interpret the body language or mood of the other person unless they explicitly tell you, “hey, I’m in a bad mood”. This can often lead to arguments.
10) You need relationship goals.
As I mentioned before, there are very few success stories of long term long distance relationships. All of your communication won’t mean much if nothing ever changes. Most long distance relationships usually have the couple reunited again thereby ending the long distance part. It’s possible to maintain your situation temporarily, but it’s not a permanent solution. However, depending on where you’re at in a relationship, talking about moving to be together may be premature and put unnecessary pressure on both of you. Simple goals can be the next reunion, but as you progress on your relationship, you’ll both need to set up a realistic end goal that works for your relationship.
Long distance relationships take a lot of work. But if the right two people find each other then it may be possible that you survive this long-distance situation and have a regular, crazy, local relationship just like everyone else.