You know that when you become a mother, things will change. Priorities have changed. Responsibilities have changed. Your boobs have changed. Those things you expected. All of those motherhood websites and mommy friends told you life will be completely different. And you listened enough to “sort of” know what you were getting into. However, you also develop other traits that you never saw coming…
1) Your handle of proper english goes out the window. Words and phrases now been cut in half and doubled. Bottle becomes “ba-ba”. Water becomes wa-wa. You’ll also find “y”s attached themselves to the end of words. “Eggys”, “Sockys”, “Glassys”. …and we complain about the younger generation’s language skills… shame on us. or should I say “shamesies”?
2) I spend more money on his clothes that he will be able to wear for 2 months than I do on my entire wardrobe. I am a sucker for holiday outfits or baby clothes that look like shrunken adult clothes. Foolish? yes. Put your kid a tutu and shrug it off. They’re only this little for so long, and pictures last forever.
3) You will feel proud of ANY miniscule achievement. Aside from the major achievements (rolling over, sitting up, standing, talking, walking, etc.), you will even feel pride when they poop and it stays inside their diaper. Or when they let out a fart they’ve been holding in for a long time. Good job buddy!
4) Mom is officially your name. Even to you. As in, “Mommy’s tired, dear, go to bed.” Or “Mommy needs to eat now, ok?” or “Mommy’s about to lose it, stop crying.” Referring to yourself in the third person becomes the norm.
5) Life becomes a musical. And you are now Julie Andrews. You’ll sing about taking a bath, changing a diaper, going to sleep. It doesn’t even matter if you can carry a tune.
6) You measure days in feedings not in time. As in, breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, and maybe one last nursing to “top it off” before bedtime. Repeat.
7) Baby talk is for real. “How’s my little baby?” turns into “How’s my widdle baby-wabie?” (with goofy smile of course). If you think about it, he really doesn’t understand what you’re saying anyway, so baby talk isn’t really necessary. But it’s just oh-so cutesy-wutesy.
8) Finger on the smartphone camera button at all times. Remember when pictures on your smartphone were photos of food, landscapes, and selfies? Any new mom’s camera will most likely be 80% baby pictures. And 50% of those photos will be blurry.
9) You pack your purse with stuff the baby needs first. And then you realize later you forgot your wallet (or cellphone or keys, etc). Baby’s needs will always come before yours. No wonder it takes families longer to get out of the house.
10) You take a tactical military approach to any excursion. For example, a zoo visit requires the right equipment: stroller, appropriate clothing, extra clothing, sunscreen, pacifier, diapers, wipes, blankets, footwear, etc. You immediately get a map, and scan for bathrooms to change the baby, sitting areas to feed the baby, and the most efficient way to see everything but avoid meltdowns in the process.
Has motherhood changed you?
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