My husband is, by far, one of the most important people in my life to whom I often forget to say thank you. As you know, he’s currently Active Duty in the military and military life can throw a lot of obstacles in our relationship.

Through the good, the bad and the ugly, he’s my rock, even when he’s not here. Everyone else thanks him for his service. Somehow, it’s always slipped past me. I recognize his service to the military, but I forget about his service to our marriage. My appreciation for him gets lost amongst the military life roller coaster we share together.

As most military spouses know, you say thank you for the little things, like the dinner he made or the car he fixed, but rarely, if ever, for what’s more important.

11 things you never thanked your military husband for, but meant to

These are 11 of those things for which you forgot to thank him, but meant to along the way.

1) Putting up with your ugly cry when he told you he was going to deploy.

It’s not a contest, your military husband has it way worse when it comes to deployment. But the moment he tells you about it, you feel as though YOUR world is crashing down. You think “What am I going to do?” “How am I going to get through this?” You mean to ask about him and how’s he feeling, but when he drops that bombshell, all you want to do is ugly-cry and curl up into a ball. He tells you you’re beautiful and you’re strong and no matter what, you will get through it together.

2) Breaking it down word by word when he talks to you about work

Spouses aren’t in the military but they’re in military life. Which means they kind of know what military husbands are talking about but not really. So when they say this CO/XO did this or other alphabet soup talk with military acronyms, you nod your head, but really, you’re thinking “Wait, what?, Wait, who? Wait, what does that stand for?”. It’s not like a civilian husband where he talks about a regular meeting with the client. Thank you to him for breaking it down for civilian spouses like us to understand.

3) Telling you they’re safe during deployment

Being out to sea or downrange, it doesn’t matter where they are, you know there may be sort of danger involved. You don’t like it. It makes you nervous, uneasy and keeps you up worrying about him. He purposefully tries to contact you as often as he can with updates about him, trying to give you peace of mind. You appreciate him trying. But you will always worry about him, now matter where he is.


4) Taking a bazillion pictures at the military ball

This is a grand event to look your finest. You have your hair done, makeup done, nails done, with a beautiful dress and shoes to boot. So you ask for a picture before you leave, then a selfie in the car, then one in the hotel lobby, then one at your table, then a group one, then one with the spouses, and then you stand in line for an official one by the portrait photographer. He’s so awesome for putting on a smile every time.

5) Defending you when other idiot service members make fun of military wive

There’s a lot of cyber bullying that goes on in the military world. Some of that can spill over into real life. Someone brings up that dependa word or some other stupid stereotype. Even if the guys are just “talking shop”, your military husband speaks up and says “Nope, not my wife.”  You have trust and mutual respect in your relationship. You don’t need to be there to see it, you know he doesn’t speak that way about you.

6) Not turning you into the hoarders show when they see how much stuff you guys actually have during a PCS move

You get sentimental for certain things, especially through multiple PCS moves, you’d like to keep memories and mementos of each duty station. So you acquire and accumulate piece by piece and perhaps make a scrapbook or shadow box. Damn Pinterest. Then there’s certain things you need for each duty station: coats and snow stuff for the north, swimsuits and kayaks for the beach. Once it’s time for you to put everything in boxes is when you realize… “wow, we have a lot of stuff… “ (PS: Thank God for movers!)


7) Making an effort to introduce you to your coworkers and their spouse

You know you need to make friends at a new duty station. You know that and he knows that. It keeps your military relationship strong. When you arrive at a duty station, intentionally or unintentionally, he seeks out the guys with wives that may have something in common with you or kids the same age. He works with you to throw bar-b-ques and get-togethers to meet new people and start up your new social circle. Even if you don’t get new friends every time, you still appreciate the effort.

8) Forgiving you when you can’t exactly remember “that guy”

Continuing off the previous point, while he introduces you to a lot of people, you perhaps may not always remember their name… or their face… or anything about them. Or when he refers to them by last name, and then they introduced themselves to you by first name, and then you don’t know to link them up. In any case, there’s a lot of people to keep track of, and you can’t always remember who’s who, and who did what, and why they’re important. He may get a little frustrated but nonetheless, your husband repeats himself to make sure you know what’s going on.

9) Sticking by you during the good and the ugly

As your husband, he sees you looking like a dime piece during military balls and homecomings. He’s also well aware of what you look like when there isn’t a major event going on. Unshaven legs, check. Greasy hair, check. Sloppy clothes, check. He’s seen it all. He loves it all. God love him when he sees you with food in your teeth and on your shirt. (or maybe I’m just a messy eater)


10) Coming along for the events on base or in housing

He probably sees his coworkers more than he sees you. All of the 10+ hours days can catch up to him. When it comes to the weekend, he just wants to unwind and perhaps leave all military-related stuff behind. However, you know that there’s an event on base that you or your kids would like to check out, and you really want to go. So you ask if your husband would come along even though he sees these people all of the time. The event may seem a little silly or meant for kids, but he comes along because he’s there for you and your family.

11) Always telling you how it is

Your husband will be blatantly honest with you at all times. He knows you inside and out. He knows what buttons to push and when not to push them. He knows when you’re saying things out of anger, stress, or frustration. He knows what to say to make you feel better (even if you don’t want to hear it). He knows when you’re being a brat. He listens to you cry and vent when you need to. He’s the one to help pull you out of that slump.

Without his love, advice, support, or number memorized in your head, you would be lost in this crazy world we know as military life.