To the military spouse that’s not the best housewife…

To the military spouse that’s the best damn housewife around…

To the military spouse who doesn’t give a f*&% about covering her tattoos at the military ball…

To the military spouse who got married “young”…

To the military spouse who got married “old”…

To the military spouse who runs the household like a well-oiled machine…

To the military spouse who refuses to give up her career or education no matter how many PCS orders there are…

To the military spouse with the house full of children…

To the military spouse who is childfree…

To the military spouse who wore the uniform herself…

To the military spouse who leaves rank out of the conversation…

To the military spouse who dated her service member for ten years before getting married…

To the military spouse who dated her service member for a month before getting married…

To the military spouse who lives life in real life, not on social media…

To the military spouse who may not always agree with the military does…

To the military spouse who runs the homefront like a boss…

To the military spouse who is a dude…

To the military spouse who is gay…

To the military spouse that doesn’t hate on other military spouses…

Keep doing what you do.

to the military spouse who is different

Every now and then, I still get some nasty comments on my post about 18 Things Military Wives Secretly Want to Tell Their Husband. Some get way too personal. I try my best to ignore it.

With a blog, I know I opened myself up to the world for criticism. The trolls on the internet universe know that they can freely type as they please with little to no consequence. They’ve made fun of my relationship, my family, and my lifestyle.

To these trolls…

…really bro?

Your life is that menial where you have to publicly declare hate on me and my family for writing a 300 word blog post on how I feel? What does it matter if my opinion is “different” from others?  You don’t always have to agree with me but keep the hatred and anger down to a minimum. There’s a human being, a wife, a mother, a good person, on the other side of that blog post. It’s called a “click” button. Move it along if you don’t like what you see.

The thing that hurts most is that much of the criticism comes from other military spouses. To those “mean military spouses”, you don’t know know what’s going on in my life and I don’t know what’s going on in yours. But the more we support each other, the happier we’ll all be.

No need to hold hands and sing kumbaya but STOP with the “dependa” bullshit. Every time that stupid word is said, it’s like throwing gasoline on a fire. Every time you like/share/retweet the word “dependa”, even it’s it in “good fun”, guess what? You’re part of the problem.

There’s people from all walks of life. Here’s the thing, my fellow spouses and significant others, …if you don’t already know, we are in a very special community whether you want to admit it or not.

We are strangers but we are connected. We live in different places but we are in this together. We’re strong enough to stand alone. We’re special enough to stand out.

And when the time comes, we need to stand together.

To the Military Spouse Who is -Different-

14 Comments on To the Military Spouse Who is “Different”

  1. Karen
    August 20, 2015 at 3:33 pm (2 years ago)

    Thank you. I am not a spouse, but I am a mom. I thank you for my daughter in law who has my utmost love and respect for managing her home and a daughter when my son is away and loving him whether he’s home or away while she tries to balance wife, mom, school, job, house, etc.

    • JD Collins
      September 23, 2015 at 9:37 am (2 years ago)

      Absolutely. Thank you for the kind words.

      • M.
        October 21, 2015 at 10:49 pm (2 years ago)

        Thank you for your blog, I really enjoy it, I found some really good advices and had a lot of fun reading some of the posts.
        Try not to listen to those people who thinks they are “oh, so perfect”.
        Best regards from a spouse of a Canadian Soldier. A lot of us up north read your blog and talks about it 🙂

        • JD Collins
          December 8, 2015 at 8:41 am (2 years ago)

          oh, wow, thank you!

  2. tamra
    December 14, 2015 at 11:34 pm (2 years ago)

    you are right on! almost brought me to tears reading your blog. thank you

    • JD Collins
      December 20, 2015 at 9:52 am (2 years ago)

      Aww, thanks for the kind words!

  3. Rachael
    January 3, 2016 at 12:42 pm (2 years ago)

    Loved this…so well written. A military fiancé who wears the uniform myself; it is challenging to be different! Thank you for the kindness and understanding.

    • JD Collins
      January 11, 2016 at 2:06 pm (2 years ago)

      thanks for the kind words!

  4. Bekah
    January 17, 2016 at 8:41 pm (2 years ago)

    I loved reading this post! I’m a soon to be military spouse and I always worry that I’m going to be that odd man out in the community of military wives. Reading this reminding me that it’s going to be okay if I’m different. So thank you!

    • JD Collins
      January 30, 2016 at 1:35 pm (2 years ago)

      You’re Welcome!! Thank you for stopping by!

  5. Shalon Mottram
    March 29, 2016 at 4:15 pm (2 years ago)

    I’m a fairly new military spouse, of 3yrs, and what you wrote about is exactly why I’ve been having trouble making friends. I’ve made one friend in the three years we’ve been at our current duty station, one. It’s sad and disheartening. I’m not going to change who I am to make friends, to fit in. I shouldn’t have too. What you wrote is exactly how I feel.Thank you.

    • JD Collins
      April 13, 2016 at 10:19 am (2 years ago)

      Definitely been there. Hope it gets better!

  6. Tabitha
    May 22, 2016 at 10:19 pm (2 years ago)

    Thank you so much for this wonderful post! This post helped me a lot emotionally. My husband just got back from a deployment a few months ago, and now he’s leaving again very soon without much time to prepare and even talk about our deployment plan or anything really. It’s been hard on both of us, and even though our daughter is only a year old, she loves him so much. My heart is breaking at the thought of saying goodbye because not only will I miss my best friend, but my daughter won’t even know what’s going on. She’ll just say “dada” and I won’t be able to skype him to show her daddy is still around. I wish I was that brave and strong army wife, but I’m a different one and I love that you wrote this because it’s helping me see I’m normal for being the way I am as a spouse to my service member.

    • JD Collins
      June 1, 2016 at 3:14 pm (2 years ago)

      Awww, of course! best of luck on his deployment. Stay strong for you and your lil girl!


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