Husband deployed 4 months after our baby was born. He was gone for 7 LOOOOONG months. That was a rough time to say the least.

If you know my delivery story, then you know I was a probable candidate for postpartum depression. In retrospect, I probably DID have it and should have sought counseling. It was my pride that stopped me. Knowing that my husband was going to deploy was a raincloud over my shoulders.

That day we dropped him off at the dock was one of the saddest days of my life. I went numb that morning. I just didn’t want to feel. Because if I did, I wouldn’t have been able to function. I had to stay strong for him. I had to stay strong for our son.


Once Junior and I got home, that’s when I lost it. Here I was, a brand new parent, left with a baby. A difficult baby to boot. (Junior can be a diva but that’s a story for another day.) So what have I learned from life with a new baby and a deployed husband?

rules for life baby deploy (1)

Here are 36 Rules for life with a new baby when husband is deployed:

  1. I will feel like crap
  2. House will look like crap
  3. Babies will cry
  4. I will cry
  5. Sleep > Food
  6. Junk Food > Healthy Food
  7. Showers might not happen every day
  8. Baby drool in your hair will.
  9. Phone will be full of baby pictures to send
  10. 85% of baby pictures will be blurry
  11. Surprise phone calls from him are absolute bliss
  12. Missed phone calls are absolutely devastating
  13. It sucks when you can’t say “your turn”
  14. You want to cry when you see how much baby reminds of his/her daddy
  15. Thank God for caffeine
  16. There will always be “stuff that you didn’t get to yet”
  17. You wonder if you can pay someone to do that “stuff” for you
  18. 5 seconds after your drop the baby with a sitter, you feel this amazing relief
  19. 5 minutes after you drop the baby with a sitter, you want to call and make sure they’re doing ok
  20. 5 hours after you drop the baby off with a sitter, you want your baby back
  21. You get takeout (again) because you would rather play with baby than have to cook or clean
  22. You chat up strangers just because they are pregnant or have a small child
  23. All you want to do is shower in peace
  24. You will wonder how your stay-at-home-mom friends do it.
  25. You will wonder how your working-mom friends do it.
  26. You will wonder how single parents do it.
  27. You will respect every single parent: past, present, and future you come upon.
  28. You are petrified that something might happen to you while he’s deployed and no one will be there to take care of the baby.
  29. You will feel so proud when baby accomplishes something new
  30. You will get a little bummed that Daddy wasn’t around to see it
  31. You will get so overwhelmed that you just break down
  32. Baby will babble nonstop
  33. EXCEPT when you put them on the phone with daddy, then they’re mutes.
  34. Baby Cuddles make you feel better… and less alone
  35. You will fight about who has it worse
  36. You have to remember that you are with the baby and they aren’t. They definitely have it worse.

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4 Comments on 36 Rules for Life With A New Baby and a Deployed Husband

  1. Wow, I feel a bit better after reading your list! Especially after just having pizza for dinner haha. My husband was deployed about a month ago, and our son just turned 4 months on Tuesday. It’s definitely not easy. What was the hardest thing for you?

    • Love it! Hardest thing for me was the loneliness. I always envisioned parenting as a team effort. That deployment was especially rough on his life and the home life.

  2. Yes! Hubby deployed when baby was 4 months and will be gone a total of 7 months. Each of these are so true but maybe we should add an addition couple of cries in there? I’m also learning how to ask for help and see who is willing to watch baby so I can get a break!

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