In no particular order, here’s a common topic military couples may fight about.

To have kids or to not have kids? When do we have kids? How many kids? How far apart do we space them? Most couples will talk about these subjects long before marriage. For military couples, it can be another exhausting process due to the constraints of military life. For those that do have kids, it can be frustrating to keep fighting over the responsibilities of the children. More often than not, one parent (typically the spouse, but not always), can feel like they’re carrying more of the workload when it comes to the kids. If you two had decided upon that it would be one-sided when it came to children, great. If not, here’s where you run into issues.

To help resolve:

  • Don’t ever fight in front of the kids. They’re seriously are like sponges. Send them away so you can call your husband a d-bag in private 😉
  • List out the big values. Make a list of the major values and beliefs you guys want to pass down to your kids. That way you can have something to refer to when it comes time to make a parenting decision, how will the decision affect your values? positively or negatively?
  • Talk about parenting decisions without distractions. That way you can discuss calmly what each of your thoughts are and you’re not just riding on emotions.
  • Watch each other’s six. In essence, back each other up. When one parent says something, the other parent should back them up. This way, the child sees a unified team.
  • If you guys don’t agree, make sure the kid is out the room and then discuss with one another. Try to compromise. Defend both of your cases. If you guys still don’t agree, perhaps try to go with the parent that feels more passionate about the issue. Let your kid know of your decision but emphasize that it was decided upon by both of you. (United front!)

See other common conflicts military couples have:

The Military
Division of Labor
The Future