In no particular order, here’s a common topic military couples may fight about.
Division of Labor
My husband and I both work. Before we even got married, I told him, that notwithstanding the job market or any other extreme circumstances, I was going to have a career even after kids. He agreed and supported. So our careers worked out perfectly. …Our house fell into shambles. Simple chores turned into all-out battle royales. We talked about careers, we should have also talked about how our home lives were going to be. You gotta remember, your spouse isn’t just going to be your partner, lover, and friend, he or she will also be your roommate… for the rest of your life.
To help resolve:
- Set expectations. What does “neat” mean to both of you? What does “clean” mean to both of you?
- Chore chart. It can’t get much simpler than that. They’re not just for kids, they’re for adults too. Set chores daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly.
- If the majority of house maintenance chores must fall onto one partner for whatever reason, then the other partner must pick up the slack elsewhere: bills, grocery shopping, auto maintenance, kid watching, etc.
- Saying “Thank You” can go a long a way to help make your partner feel appreciated for the work they do.
- Keep it light. Nagging or yelling seldom gets anywhere. Insert some humor to try and ease the tension (but be sure the chores get done later)
- If time allows, pick up a chore for your partner every so often. Hopefully, they’ll return the favor. If they don’t, remember that it was intended as a favor so you can’t get too mad at them. Don’t keep score but perhaps try to remind them that you have done quite a few favors for them and would appreciate a nice surprise every so often.
- If you can afford it, hire it out. It doesn’t have to be regular but sometimes cleaning companies have a really good deal on cleaning services, and that could be your little gift to each other.
Here are other common conflicts military couples can have: