Pregnancy: the good and bad Image courtesy of Keerati/
Pregnancy: the good and bad
Image courtesy of Keerati/

I’m in my third trimester and the countdown is on. Here is the good side and bad side of pregnancy and how you really feel.

The good: Boobs are huge, hair is long and thick, skin is somewhat clearer than usual. No dirty looks when I ask for second helpings. Feeling my baby kick and move is really exciting. Seeing nursery stuff puts me in mommy mode. Feeling maternal when I see other people’s kids. No guilt when I reward myself with massages or pedicures. Other people offering to do stuff for me because they see I’m pregnant but really, I can do it myself, I just don’t want to. Knowing that in a few short months, I will have someone that I will love and care about for the rest of my life. (yeah, yeah, I have a husband, but it’s not the same.)

The bad: I’m fat. My wedding ring is getting tighter.  As are my clothes. My back hurts.  I’m out of breath quickly. How did my ugg boots get tight? Headaches hurt more. I can’t do a sit-up. Constipation, enough said. My feet hurt.  Why can I not sleep? I get really angry at the smallest things (stupid pedestrian moving too slowly across the street). I sob uncontrollably at the smallest things (stupid commercial about SPCA). I get extremely happy at the smallest thing (hell yeah, free donuts at work!). Man, another bathroom break? Stop staring at my belly. Waiting 20 minutes for a 5 minute doctor visit… awesome.  I can’t get comfortable sitting, lying down, or standing. Who are you and when did I give you permission to touch my belly? Bathroom scale, you heartless bitch. Sleeping through the night is a pipe dream. How much does daycare cost?! I’m over everyone and everything. What is this line down my belly? And where did all of this hair come from? Must. Prevent. Stretchmarks. (Doctor-“stretchmarks are genetic”). Must. Prevent. Stretchmarks. Anyway.

Did I miss anything?