Why Long Distance Relationships Are So Hard But So Worth It

Every “bing” of the cell phone, your hearts flutters. You think to yourself, “Is it him? Did he text me?”

You impatiently sit by your laptop, waiting to see his face when he logs on to skype. You think to yourself “How much longer? When can I see him?”

Every happy couple you walk by, you can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy. “Why can your relationship be like theirs?”

Being in a long distance relationship is a different (and difficult) kind of love. It requires patience, understanding, flexibility, loyalty, and faith.

When my then-boyfriend (now-husband) and I started getting serious, there was a time where we had to do long distance. Our hearts belonged together but the reality was that we couldn’t be physically located together for some time. It was more about timing than anything. I had things in my career and education that I couldn’t give up, and he had things in his life.

Neither of us was in a position to move for the other. We had to make the choice: break up or make it work long-distance.

Breaking up was simply NOT an option.

So we stayed together… by living apart.

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Then the backlash came. Our family and friends gave us some grief. No matter what I tried to say, they weren’t 100% convinced that we were 100% committed.

“How is this going to work?” they asked. “Long-distance Relationships always end badly!” they said. I knew in my heart, however, that no matter how far I was apart from my boyfriend, our relationship WOULD last.

I couldn’t let him go. I was so very in love. The thought of breaking up felt like my heart would crumble into pieces, the thought of losing him made me sick,  I would be emotionally and mentally devastated.

So I made my decision and I stuck by it. I would not give him up. WE weren’t going to give up. We at least had to try.

And so we did.

The opinions, the haters, the judgement, it certainly hurt, but it didn’t matter to us. We had each other. No matter what opinions your loved ones may have, the both of you must be strong enough to not only cope with them but also deal with the circumstances. The circumstances being that you are away from your love. You can’t hug, kiss, cuddle, or cry on their shoulder. You are constantly longing for that physical touch. Your long distance date nights take place by a laptop or smartphone. While you do “have someone”, being in a long distance relationship can sure make you feel lonely. It’s enough to make anyone question LDRs.

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There will be times when you want to give up, but you don’t and you never will because it’s all SO WORTH IT.  Here’s why:

True love knows no distance.

If you love each other, and I mean TRULY love each other, being in two different places won’t matter. Distance will not tear you apart because you won’t let it. You find ways to make it work.

Time is even more precious. 

After days, weeks, months of anticipation, the reunion that you two will have is indescribable. It truly is like falling in love all over again. In that moment, nothing else in the world matters.

You two vs. the world.

You will always believe in your partner and your love above all else. Nothing could tear you down, you’re in this together. You both have the same hope that it work and the same determination to MAKE it work.

Now’s the time to explore.

If you’re lucky, you’re able to visit one another. That’s the time to see how your other half lives. There’s something new to see every time. Don’t let it be “same old- same old”. Love is an adventure.

The heart will always want what it want.

I get it. Sometimes people are in relationships for the wrong reasons. Or perhaps they’re so in love that they’re blind to other facts. This just proves that the heart is probably the most stubborn part of our bodies. The decision to be in a committed long distance relationship doesn’t come lightly. Within reason, if your relationship is absolutely worth it, then go for it. It’s exciting and scary and wonderful, all at the same time.

You’ll be together forever one day.

Most long distance relationship have an end date, be a good end date (as in, you’re both finally in one place at the same time) or a bad end date (it simply didn’t work out).  Sure, the situation now is incredibly hard. But the two of you will be reunited someday if you want it enough. In fact, if you make it through, your relationship will come out on the other end stronger and better than ever before. When the day comes, you’ll see that it was so incredibly worth it. All of the tears, all of the loneliness, all of the anxiety, you’ll see that there was a reason that it had to happen. You’ll see that it led you to this one absolutely magical moment where you realize you are going to spend the rest of your life with your truest love.

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My then-boyfriend is now my husband. We’re married with a child and a dog and a house and a life together, a happy and blessed life. The “long distance” part of our relationship is no more. But we will always remember that time because it was the time where our love was tested the most.

And we won.

True love wins because it always will.