There are plenty of encouraging and inspirational quotes to get you through deployments. But what if you just want to laugh?
Sometimes a good chuckle can do wonders when you’re dealing with long distance. Here are 32 FUNNY quotes for deployment and military spouses.
- “Don’t be sad, laundry. No one is doing me either.”
- “The military is my husband’s mistress and sometimes that B**** gets all of the attention.”
- “I wish I could copy and paste you into my bed.”
- “I really miss you but, I really love not shaving.”
- “I’m in my bed, you’re in yours, One of us is obviously in the wrong place.”
- “Whoever coined the phrase, ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder was an idiot’, Absense makes a girl go cray-cray.”
- “Deployment is inconveniently the most effective way to find out if you really love each other.”
- “Don’t you type at me with that tone of voice!”
- “Distance = worst c**kblock ever.”
- “I am grouchy due to a recent lack of physical intimacy.”
- “Husband deployed?… ‘wine’ a little, it’ll make you feel better.”
- “Things to do today: 1. Get up 2. Survive 3. Go back to bed.”
- “Thank you for your service to our country even though it means you can’t be here to service me.”
- “This too shall pass… Painfully, like a kidney stone, but remember it’ll pass!”
- “Don’t mind me, this is just my fog of deployment face. Carry on.”
- “Military wives don’t do spring cleaning…. They do OH NO my husband’s-coming-home-from-deployment cleaning!”
- “I miss you so much chocolate doesn’t even taste good while you’re gone. J.K. It still tastes good, but I still miss you!”
- “I looked hot today, you missed out.”
- “They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. At this point, I should be able to bench-press a car”
- “Foxtrot. Uniform. Charlie. Kilo. Deployments”
- “ I legally mess with government property”
- “Each month has an average of 30 days. Except the last month of deployment which has 2,794 days.”
- “I cheat on my diets, not on my husband”
- “If deployment were a TV channel, they would be the Lifetime Network because ‘We Know Drama’”.
- “I miss your face… and your junk.”
- “One selfie photo = 5 outfit changes, 10 different poses, and 20 different tries”
- “My eyes are saying “go to sleep” but my heart is saying “Netflix”
- “I’m getting really tired of spooning the laptop after a skype session. He needs to come home soon”
- “When all else fails, hug the dog”
- “I wanted to send you something sexy but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox”
- “Sometimes you just need to drop your big girl panties and tell everyone to kiss your ass!”
- “Deployments are just like an annoying coworker… You just want to punch it in the face and move on!”
Read some more quotes for military families